Water on the Head

There's something about water being on his head that JR just hates.  Showers make him nervous, and being dunked is traumatic.  I'm sure some of it could come from the fact that he has slipped under water a couple of times and had that drowning sensation.  I don't blame him for that. 

Splash parks are fantastic, aren't they?  Most of the time they're free (if you don't count your property taxes as the entrance fee), and it's really a glorified sprinkler park.  I know I would have LOVED one as a kid! 

Today I decided to take JR to the splash park without telling him beforehand.  I knew it would be a gamble if he would like it, but I also knew that I have plans to take him with friends in two days.  So, I had to acclimate him.  After about 15 minutes, of running in, dipping his toes or his hands and running back to the towel, he was getting more and more wet and didn't worry as much.  I can't say "didn't look back" or "didn't think twice," because I know my son by now.  He thinks about it very much and what he's going to do.  He lasted for about 25 minutes.  I was so proud of him. 

Is it bad to say that I'm proud of myself, too?  I didn't push him to hard.  I kept encouraging him and nudging him along, but I tried very hard not to force it.  I didn't give him the option of going home -- I didn't give him an out -- but I didn't make him run in the water.  I pointed out different children and how they were playing and what they were doing.  I didn't say, "Oh, see, now that kid is doing it right."  It was more like, "Oh, see that girl stuck her hand in the water, you could try that." 

I'm learning that I need to not be afraid to introduce new things to JR.  I'm worried about how he will react and that I will regret trying something new.  I'm working on it, and I think I'm almost to the point where I'm ready to look for opportunities that will push him because I'm almost ready for him to push back.

A House Full

Sometimes the best way to teach normal social behavior is to have a family with six children move into your house for three weeks!  Okay, so that wasn't really planned, but it's amazing to see how J.R. has changed in some ways. 

Of course, he does have his moments of being overwhelmed, but we try to keep his morning and evening routines as normal as possible.  Keeping to his school schedule helps, but last week he didn't have school for three days.  The key was to create a routine, and we sort of did.  Each night we did the same things with the kids.  Each morning, Jackson is up a lot earlier than the other kids, and that really helps.  He and I are able to focus on what he needs to do each morning to get ready. 

The best part of this is that my son loves other kids.  He wants to play with them.  He loves them, even though it's been tough to share everything, and yet I'm completely amazed at how well he's handled everything. 

Professionals' Opinions

I found some great videos (on an adoption support site of all places) from a conference that was held last year with a panel of professionals who speak on autism (and mention very little ADHD/ADD).  They were beneficial and educational to me as a parent. Maybe they will help you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wbS5e9P81M
http://www.youtube.com/user/VistaDelMarCares#p/u/3/opxpnu8t3OQ
http://www.youtube.com/user/VistaDelMarCares#p/u/4/TuQqvSgznyA


My favorite quote:  "Once you've seen one child with autism, you've seen one child with autism."  ~ A parent of a child with autism

Emotional Sunday

For a child with Sensory Processing Disorder social situations can be tough. This was brought home once again for me on Sunday. Isaac has been struggling with going to primary at Church. He has a hard time sitting and concentrating on what is going on. He has become attached to a little boy in the class just above him. This little boy also likes Thomas the tank engine and brings a bag full of Thomas books and coloring pages. Yesterday this boy decided that he didn't want Isaac to sit next to him because Isaac kept bothering him. I quietly stood to the side and watched the interaction. The little boy was trying to tell Isaac kindly that he wanted to sit by someone else today because he didn't want Isaac to get into his bag. Immediately the two boys sitting next to this little boy started telling Isaac that he didn't get to sit by his friend all the time and that he wasn't even in their class and shouldn't be sitting by them anyways. I watched to see how Isaac handled this and was surprised when he turned to the little boy and promised he wouldn't get into his bag if he could sit next to him. This was big for Isaac. He comprehended what that little boy was telling him and tried to problem solve the situation. The situation unfortunately wasn't solved because one of the boys sitting next to Isaac's friend started yelling at Isaac that he needed to leave them alone and go back to his class. Isaac collapsed to the floor and started to cry and say "I'm not taking this anymore" his normal frustrated dialogue. At this point the boy started pushing Isaac with his shoe to get him to go away and move. I had had enough. I tried to calmly tell the boy that pushing people with their shoes was inappropriate and that he needn't yell at Isaac so meanly. The boys father was sitting right behind him as this was all going on. So now to the point. I know that it is hard to understand my child or even to put up with his abnormal behavior. The little friend that didn't want Isaac to sit by him had every right to ask to sit by someone else. Unfortunately for Isaac he doesn't understand this. He doesn't know why kids don't want to be around or do things with him. It is enough to break a mothers heart. To watch it over and over again is painful. The hard part is being able to educate everyone he comes in contact with about what is going on. It is also frustrating when parents don't step in when other children are not patient enough with him. But again how can I expect people to understand when I don't fully understand myself what is going on?