J.R. vacuumed his room today!!!!
Okay, it took a bit of coaxing and encouragement, but he did it. Good job, Bud!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dressing Dilemma
Post by LeMira
This morning was another reminder of how out of tune I am sometimes with my son. This morning we had to go back to the school (he's been out for a week) for post-assessment with his Kindergarten teacher, his special ed. teachers, and the school counselor. After breakfast he went to his room for a few minutes, and then emerged and announced to me, "Mom, I can't get dressed."
I looked at him and told him, "You can do this. Go pick out some clothes."
A few minutes later the same thing happened, but this time, he was more frustrated. "Mom, I can't get dressed! I need you to do it for me. I opened the dresser."
At this point, I was confused, but also frustrated. I tried to be in tune to him, and I started asking him what to do first, second, etc. He responded, "Mom, I know that, but I can't do it. You need to come to my room."
I responded, "Yes you can; you're seven. Just go get dressed. Tell yourself, 'I can do it.'" Ten more minutes passed, and he came and sat next to me on the couch in his underwear. This time he was sobbing, "Mom, I can't get dressed."
I exhaled and followed him to his room. "I can't understand what's going on this morning." When I got to his room, the bells finally went off in my head. There it was. He had found a red polo shirt -- a school uniform shirt -- but couldn't find any school uniform pants. I had taken the pants and turned them in for the uniform exchange since he'll outgrow them by the end of the summer. He knew he had to go to school, but he didn't understand that he didn't need his uniform. He was confused at what to do. I was upset with myself for not catching on earlier and for dismissing his frustration. This entire episode took 40 minutes. I should have gone in earlier.
This dilemma reminded me that I have a good kid. If he says he "can't" do something, sometimes it's because he doesn't understand or something's confusing, and he doesn't have the words to tell me. Once in a while it's that he won't do something, or that the task is overwhelming, but a lot of times it's that he doesn't understand. Today was a reminder that I need to check out a situation before I just push him.
This morning was another reminder of how out of tune I am sometimes with my son. This morning we had to go back to the school (he's been out for a week) for post-assessment with his Kindergarten teacher, his special ed. teachers, and the school counselor. After breakfast he went to his room for a few minutes, and then emerged and announced to me, "Mom, I can't get dressed."
I looked at him and told him, "You can do this. Go pick out some clothes."
A few minutes later the same thing happened, but this time, he was more frustrated. "Mom, I can't get dressed! I need you to do it for me. I opened the dresser."
At this point, I was confused, but also frustrated. I tried to be in tune to him, and I started asking him what to do first, second, etc. He responded, "Mom, I know that, but I can't do it. You need to come to my room."
I responded, "Yes you can; you're seven. Just go get dressed. Tell yourself, 'I can do it.'" Ten more minutes passed, and he came and sat next to me on the couch in his underwear. This time he was sobbing, "Mom, I can't get dressed."
I exhaled and followed him to his room. "I can't understand what's going on this morning." When I got to his room, the bells finally went off in my head. There it was. He had found a red polo shirt -- a school uniform shirt -- but couldn't find any school uniform pants. I had taken the pants and turned them in for the uniform exchange since he'll outgrow them by the end of the summer. He knew he had to go to school, but he didn't understand that he didn't need his uniform. He was confused at what to do. I was upset with myself for not catching on earlier and for dismissing his frustration. This entire episode took 40 minutes. I should have gone in earlier.
This dilemma reminded me that I have a good kid. If he says he "can't" do something, sometimes it's because he doesn't understand or something's confusing, and he doesn't have the words to tell me. Once in a while it's that he won't do something, or that the task is overwhelming, but a lot of times it's that he doesn't understand. Today was a reminder that I need to check out a situation before I just push him.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Pain
A post by LeMira
Today my son reminded me of something. He's afraid of pain. He has a very high tolerance for pain because of his elongated stay in the NICU as a baby, but he's also very afraid of it. Telling him to "be brave" or "buckle up" makes him run for cover. When he is in pain, he gets irrational. Mainly because he's afraid of what the remedy might be.
Almost every kid I meet has a love for band-aids. Bandages provide a much-needed placebo affect for their "owies," and they tend to disappear quickly with little ones because of that. I remember one of the first times that I asked my son if he wanted a band-aid (hoping it would calm him down). He was okay with it until I had to pull it off. It was then that I realized his hypersensitivity to touch. Yes, I'd noticed it before, but it was then that it really hit me. Ever since that time, he dreads the band-aid. When he falls and cries, yes, it hurts, but he usually calms quickly when I tell him that he doesn't need a band-aid. If the opposite is true, he screams.
Today's hurtful moment was not bloody, thank goodness. I had just gotten the shampoo lathered into my hair when I heard him crying and wailing. He came in, pointed to his eye and told me that it was hurting. This is where the language barrier came in. I tried to get him to tell me if he'd scratched it, poked it, fallen down, or what. When I finally was able to get out of the shower, put on a robe, and sit and look at it, it was apparent that he had some eyelashes turned in and scratching his eye. Yeah, that hurts!
The problem came when I told him I wanted to help him. He would look at me and ask, "Is it going to hurt?" It took a lot of cajoling to let him know that if he'd let me take care of it, then it wouldn't hurt anymore. I'm happy to say that I didn't lose my temper like I've done so much in the past. It's so hard to stay in control when your child is out of control and not listening. The louder he gets, the louder I get.
I finally asked, "Would you rather let it hurt or let Mommy take care of it?" I still had to get him to clasp his hands so he wouldn't push mine away (a defensive reaction), and I had to hold his head so he wouldn't jerk away. It took a good five minutes for this process. In the meantime, I'm wiping dripping shampoo off my face so it doesn't sting my eyes!
When I was done, the pain was gone for him, and the eyelashes released. Thank heavens I didn't have to use the words "doctor," "medicine," or "band-aid." Who knows what would have happened then?
Today my son reminded me of something. He's afraid of pain. He has a very high tolerance for pain because of his elongated stay in the NICU as a baby, but he's also very afraid of it. Telling him to "be brave" or "buckle up" makes him run for cover. When he is in pain, he gets irrational. Mainly because he's afraid of what the remedy might be.
Today's hurtful moment was not bloody, thank goodness. I had just gotten the shampoo lathered into my hair when I heard him crying and wailing. He came in, pointed to his eye and told me that it was hurting. This is where the language barrier came in. I tried to get him to tell me if he'd scratched it, poked it, fallen down, or what. When I finally was able to get out of the shower, put on a robe, and sit and look at it, it was apparent that he had some eyelashes turned in and scratching his eye. Yeah, that hurts!
The problem came when I told him I wanted to help him. He would look at me and ask, "Is it going to hurt?" It took a lot of cajoling to let him know that if he'd let me take care of it, then it wouldn't hurt anymore. I'm happy to say that I didn't lose my temper like I've done so much in the past. It's so hard to stay in control when your child is out of control and not listening. The louder he gets, the louder I get.
I finally asked, "Would you rather let it hurt or let Mommy take care of it?" I still had to get him to clasp his hands so he wouldn't push mine away (a defensive reaction), and I had to hold his head so he wouldn't jerk away. It took a good five minutes for this process. In the meantime, I'm wiping dripping shampoo off my face so it doesn't sting my eyes!
When I was done, the pain was gone for him, and the eyelashes released. Thank heavens I didn't have to use the words "doctor," "medicine," or "band-aid." Who knows what would have happened then?
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A milestone
Tonight my Ike was playing school. It has taken us almost 7 years to get to this point. My husband and I looked at each other as he directed Mike to sit down and listen to the story he was going to read him. What started this?
We adopted a dog about a month ago and Ike has been so attentive to her needs. On the first night we had her, she started to shake and whimper and Ike was so upset that she was scared. He decided that he would read and sing to her to make her feel better. Since then I have found him sitting down reading her books several times. I can only assume that this is what brought us to this amazing imaginative play. It was spontaneous, no prompting from an adult. Needless to say his parents didn't have dry eyes. It may have taken awhile, but it was so worth the wait!
We adopted a dog about a month ago and Ike has been so attentive to her needs. On the first night we had her, she started to shake and whimper and Ike was so upset that she was scared. He decided that he would read and sing to her to make her feel better. Since then I have found him sitting down reading her books several times. I can only assume that this is what brought us to this amazing imaginative play. It was spontaneous, no prompting from an adult. Needless to say his parents didn't have dry eyes. It may have taken awhile, but it was so worth the wait!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Biscuit is a FOOD, not a DOG!
The thing with PDD-NOS is that it is easy to forget that my child has a disability. Then he does something and fixates on something so trivial or odd (to me, anyway) that I'm reminded that yes, he sees the world very differently than I do.
This morning we were doing homework before school. This morning's load was more than normal because he was kept home sick the last two days. Don't worry, I didn't overload him, it was just one more page than normal. When it was time to do his reading, he sat on the couch and pouted for five minutes. "I'm not going to school. My head hurts. I'm sick." The thing is, he's probably right, but he's not sick enough to stay home another day. Besides, he'll only be there for 2 1/2 hours before I check him out again for a routine doctor's appointment.
Anywaaaaay, it was time to do his daily reading. A very short book (he's only on a first grade level, so not very difficult). The problem this morning was that the character, a dog, has the name "Biscuit." Yesterday, when he knew he didn't have to go to school, he wasn't so grumpy and just sort of shrugged off the name, although he mentioned that "Biscuit" isn't the name of the dog, it's the name of a food. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, this morning, he couldn't get past the "Biscuit-is-a-food-not-a-dog" issue. I mean, really, he couldn't get past it. So, I couldn't get past it. I put the book down and finished getting him ready for school. Some days he just gets so fixated on a little thing that it gets in the way of the big things, and then we take a break. Does that happen to anyone else?
This morning we were doing homework before school. This morning's load was more than normal because he was kept home sick the last two days. Don't worry, I didn't overload him, it was just one more page than normal. When it was time to do his reading, he sat on the couch and pouted for five minutes. "I'm not going to school. My head hurts. I'm sick." The thing is, he's probably right, but he's not sick enough to stay home another day. Besides, he'll only be there for 2 1/2 hours before I check him out again for a routine doctor's appointment.
Anywaaaaay, it was time to do his daily reading. A very short book (he's only on a first grade level, so not very difficult). The problem this morning was that the character, a dog, has the name "Biscuit." Yesterday, when he knew he didn't have to go to school, he wasn't so grumpy and just sort of shrugged off the name, although he mentioned that "Biscuit" isn't the name of the dog, it's the name of a food. Can you see where this is going? Yeah, this morning, he couldn't get past the "Biscuit-is-a-food-not-a-dog" issue. I mean, really, he couldn't get past it. So, I couldn't get past it. I put the book down and finished getting him ready for school. Some days he just gets so fixated on a little thing that it gets in the way of the big things, and then we take a break. Does that happen to anyone else?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Light It Up Blue
This weekend I encourage you to support autism awareness by "Lighting it Up Blue." Tomorrow I'm going out to the store to find a blue light bulb to replace my porch light from yellow to blue. For the month of April, our house will be blue. Yep, we're going to be the COOL house on the block.
And go to this website for more information.
Light It Up Blue
And go to this website for more information.
Light It Up Blue
Monday, March 14, 2011
A House Full
Sometimes the best way to teach normal social behavior is to have a family with six children move into your house for three weeks! Okay, so that wasn't really planned, but it's amazing to see how J.R. has changed in some ways.
Of course, he does have his moments of being overwhelmed, but we try to keep his morning and evening routines as normal as possible. Keeping to his school schedule helps, but last week he didn't have school for three days. The key was to create a routine, and we sort of did. Each night we did the same things with the kids. Each morning, Jackson is up a lot earlier than the other kids, and that really helps. He and I are able to focus on what he needs to do each morning to get ready.
The best part of this is that my son loves other kids. He wants to play with them. He loves them, even though it's been tough to share everything, and yet I'm completely amazed at how well he's handled everything.
Of course, he does have his moments of being overwhelmed, but we try to keep his morning and evening routines as normal as possible. Keeping to his school schedule helps, but last week he didn't have school for three days. The key was to create a routine, and we sort of did. Each night we did the same things with the kids. Each morning, Jackson is up a lot earlier than the other kids, and that really helps. He and I are able to focus on what he needs to do each morning to get ready.
The best part of this is that my son loves other kids. He wants to play with them. He loves them, even though it's been tough to share everything, and yet I'm completely amazed at how well he's handled everything.
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