Sometimes it is hard to watch other peoples kids. You have your usual reasons, but for me it can become depressing. Many of my friends have been writing about their journey with Adoption and I thought that maybe I should write a little something about my journey with my Special Needs children. I have occasionally commented on things here but I thought it would be nice to explain the emotions and reality of dealing with two children with Autism. Never did I think I would be a mother of a special needs child let alone two. The day Micah started showing signs, I broke down and wept. God got an earful that day. It is hard to watch your child struggle at things his classmates and children younger than him easily master. When being updated by friends and family about their children I have to mute that voice in my head that tells me to be jealous. I try to be happy for the accomplishments of other's children. Their success in no way demeans my child's. When I struggle to not feel like a failure as a parent I have to stop and really think about my children.
Quite frankly they are amazing. As my dear friend puts it. They live with a different view of the world. They think differently, feel differently but are forced to conform to the standards that are set by society. It would be like putting on someone else's prescription glasses and then being asked to do ordinary tasks. And they try, and keep trying. We keep asking them to do these monumental things and they don't quit until they finally get it right. It may take them longer, it might not be perfect but their victory is all the more sweet. So in the end I don't begrudge parents their extreme pride in their children's accomplishments. I am right there with you, I just have something different to be proud about and it's ok.