Saturday, July 3, 2010

Don't take your bad parenting skills out on my child!

As mothers of children with or without special needs I am sure you have been in a similar situation. That is why I am posting this rant, I think you will understand. The nature of my children's disability is such that social interactions are incredibly hard. This is most of the reason I don't take my children in public very often. Today I decided to take the boys to a little water fountain park that we found last week in the middle of a small state park in the town right next to us. I wanted to let my husband have a little alone time and it was very hot so I thought the boys would like the water. We had a pretty good time when we first arrived there. There weren't too many kids and the boys and found some friends to play with. It happened so fast I hardly knew what happened. All of a sudden I heard this woman yelling, "GET OUT OF HER FACE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!" I turned to look and there was Micah hunched over smiling very very close to the little girl he had been playing with's face. I turned to find the Mother who was yelling while I made my way over to Micah. She of course was just sitting on a bench 5 ft. away from the situation yelling. Another woman of the same party came over and picked up the little girl and I made it over there and asked what had happened. She was very kind and said, " oh nothing, he was just a little close and she was a little uncomfortable." I explained that he has a hard time understanding personal boundaries and she smiled and said it was all right.

So here are my gripes. I am sure you can guess the first. That woman had no right to yell at my child the way she did. I don't like confrontation but I was very close to walking over to her and decking her. As a parent you are setting an example for your child and yelling should not be one of them. He was just trying to get her attention, granted inappropriately but first of all walk over there yourself and see what the problem is. Maybe it has been the experience with my children but the first thing I do when I see a problem is get myself over there and figure out what is going on. He wasn't hurting her, show a little maturity and act like the adult, not the child throwing the fit.

Second, I am so tired of always needing to hover. I am constantly on alert when my children are near other children. It is like I am not only watching my children but the children that are in the general vicinity to my children. It is exhausting! I am constantly having to facilitate almost every interaction to make sure that my children don't do anything inappropriate that will then cause them to lose their friends. I am always there to make sure that other parents don't get upset. I am always there to explain why my child does whatever peculiar thing he does. I am so tired, everyday I am ready to quit! But guess what I can't, and I won't because every new social interaction my children have they learn. Slower than other children but I am seeing progress. In the end progress is worth it and I will keep doing it because my children are worth it.


Shanny said...

Wow, talk about overreactions! Which lady was the child's mother, the yeller or the other one? Or could you tell?

I might also add that, as a parent, sometimes you need to let your kid work it out on their own. I know whenever we go to the park, if there looks like there might be an incident, I wait to see if Julia will freak out, or if she'll just walk away.

I'm sorry that this is your struggle. But you are doing an awesome job, and I know your kids are grateful for you :)

LeMira said...

Natalie, I personally think you deserve a medal for not decking her! I thought that what Micah was doing was going to be so much more egregious than just being in her face . . . when did we stop prescribing "Chill Pills"? Time to start carrying those around so we can hand them out to people who overreact to our kids.

Monica said...

Hey Natalie! Wow. This is just awful! You are such a good mom! I think I might face book you a message because I have a couple of questions for you! Thanks for your blog.